No this didn’t happen via Facebook or some social networking website but well there’s always been one guy I’ve liked all my teenage/early adult life until one day when I just decided to move on. We never were ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’, we were just ‘friends’ who liked each other but never got into a ‘ romantic relationship’. In fact I professed my feelings to L (lets call him that) right in the first few months of knowing him. There was something so charming about him. But he just sweetly declined it saying he didn’t want to date anyone. Yeah I know what that means now.
So in the 6-7 years of knowing him I grew from being naive at 17 to being married at 23. Although we’re not in the same country and neither do we keep in touch he does pop back randomly in my mind.
I am happy to be with my husband and I love him and know this is special cuz I’ve never really had this kinda comfort zone with anyone. I can look like an ugly duckling one morning and he’ll still come over and look at me like Edward looking at Bella. Of course I’d like to flatter myself about looking half as pretty as Bella but you know better.
So why L all of a sudden? Um yesterday I saw his Facebook status change. It said ‘In a relationship’ and there was a big heart symbol right by it. He’s isn’t a FB person and neither is he someone who boasts about his personal life. He’s very private and really just somebody you can’t help but be interested about.
Fine I’ll stop running around the bush… is it bad to think about some lost love? Well… this wasn’t exactly reciprocated by L but in ‘my’ head I though we had something invincible. He always said stuff like how I was the only one he shared that with and we did fool around in the most innocent ways of course (like kissing/hugging) and he even asked me to not get married the weekend before my wedding. I mean what’s that supposed to mean? ‘Friendly advise’? Puhleeeez!
I guess that’s why I don’t like the plain Janes who win the handsome hunk in movies cuz that never happened to me. Obviously I wasn’t no plain Jane but I wasn’t Megan Fox either.
I know I don’t regret anything but I feel guilty to know that I feel good in reliving some moments of the past. This one especially…and if there’s wonderful tonight by Eric Clapton playing on the radio then it just takes me back to L. He played me that song quiet often…and he still calls me…just a random call once every 2 months or so to check in on my life. Is that a bad thing? Then why does he call me?
I could go on about unrequited love but it’s not as satisfying as having somebody who loves you back in every breath they take and I have that somebody who at the moment is snuggled asleep under our new CK duvet (got on Black Friday).
Oh wait he just woke up I guess. Wow I felt a chill down my spine like someone caught me having an affair! Okay dear bloggers got to head back to reality. Thank you for listening!