For all those who analyze relationships, let me put this out. I love my husband. No doubt about that.
So what was different this morning that led me to reminisce yet another failed crush? Last night while I was doing a daily tour of my ‘friends’ profiles on Facebook I came across this one guy X whom I once had a crush on. Basically he’s dating this one girl I sorta know. At least I know how she looks. She the ‘pretty-without-makeup’ kinda girl. I went psycho for about 4 seconds and then ate gorgeous alfredo pasta with my husband and though life is beautiful.
Now back to my pathetic past.
So X is very attractive and smart (brain-wise). We worked in the same organization- yes despite my lack of a Bachelors degree I got the job. It was for a copy writer for the lifestyle section of a newspaper. My editor loves fashion and I do too. That’s how I got the job I guess.
Anyway back to X. So at the time I kinda hatched a devious scheme with another guy friend of mine, who had a thing for me and also knew X pretty well, to set X and I up on a ‘blind’ date. I still don’t know why but he introduced X and I and although X is way hotter than I am/was, it didn’t deter me from hoping for something. In fact he seemed to come around once I started text messaging him and he was even replying back. I was so thrilled that finally some spark of interest in my lackluster love life. My life was starting to look more exciting.
A week later I made up some crap reason to meet him at work. I even wore a pretty top and tried to make the most of my decently in-shape body. I don’t know what he thought of that but I left it at that cuz I had another on-off crush popping back in my life at that point so I totally left X alone, as in, no text messages.
Then out of the blue he sends me a message saying ‘what’s up’ and my life had changed that day, well before he sent me that text message. I got engaged to some idiot (think Britney Spears). Well in my case I did it for my parents who really liked that guy and my life was looking like a mess and I just said okay to that proposal without thinking.
And to make my situation all the more complicated X knew that guy I got engaged to. Yes, that’s how much it sucked for me.
Best part yet, I broke off that engagement within a week of it. I knew I couldn’t compromise on that one thing. I just couldn’t make myself love someone.
Obviously X was gone with the wind. I never moved on from failure to launch (of that crush story) and there I just saw my life change).
Sometimes I wish we never are judged for our actions. At times I day dream about too-good-to-be-true scenarios where I’m looking the best anyone could, I’ve got the best job and I bump into X and have him awestruck.
I guess I really have to not suck that much.