Why the ONE you’re with is the ONE

Wohoo! So husband and I had a great time in the bedroom…needless to say my day wasn’t as great as that. Even today I was going ‘mental’ over a couple of issues, one being, well not being able to date anyone anymore. I know I know I’m more than a couple of months (9+ months) late in discovering that but hey are you here to judge me?

I thought not.

Today on a typical drive back to home the radio was on. Nothing like Sleepless in Seattle. That kinda stuff never happens in NJ. However what happened was quite subtly powerful and meaningful. The song has a lyric that said something like “can’t go in the direction of the past” and BOOM it hit straight in the gut. My gut has more authority than my heart. How did that happen? Well since my first and only crush bombed even before anything came off it I appointed my gut to do all the ‘dating decisions’. Well sorta.

What I’m getting at is that sometimes we might go back to the past because (a) it feels nice (b) feels therapeutic (c) option a+b (d) you’re not happy with current spouse/partner. For me it’s probably option (a) and that I’m always searching for ways to put myself in trouble. No seriously . I’m a shopaholic, a jobless, senseless, mindless and clueless, one at that. One thing I’m NOT is humorless.

What ever be our reasons if you can’t find a reason good enough in your mind then it means there isn’t one. In my case, if you’re the kind that’s always looking for the next hottest high heel, or exploring a country nobody has yet, or trying to find ‘logic’ in every fucking thing then let me be the first to break this to you (unless of course you happened to be smarter than yours truly, which might I add is a 1 in 2 possibility).

Here goes:

My partner/spouse must be the one cuz he’s isn’t into drugs, booze or reads TMZ. Oh wait that’s what  Hulk Hogan said about his current fiance. Dammit answer (a) taken.

Answer (b):

My husband is awesome. Period. My ex never took my hand when it mattered most. My fault or his but today the hand in my hand is that of a man sitting by me, preparing for his LSAT and planning our next vaca, while here I am…talking about my ex. Wake me up once I’m done being a loser will ya? So if you’re feeling what I’m feeling then fuck the ex and go hug your spouse/partner and thank him for being the wonderful companion he never promised to be and then kiss him for all the promises he kept.

Tadaaa!

How was my theory? It’s at least a 4/10. Okay give me a 5.

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Mom please! Not another recipe

At the moment I’m on the phone with mum who’s dolling out recipes after recipes and I’m unable to stop her! I guess she’s kinda like a human road roller when she talks about cooking.

Don’t be mistaken but she’s a awesome cook and the best person I know alive but mom really do you have to give me 3 recipes every time we talk? Like every single time? She’s still going on about how to marinate chicken while I’m coming up with this post. Phew! This woman is on fire! It’s like an itch. She JUST has to give me one recipe if not more. It’s cute like OCD type but in her own funny way.

Maybe we’ll come up with a cook book for her so that’ll channel her ‘enthusiasm’ in a more receptive direction. She hasn’t yet discovered the joy of blogging yet…so until then my ear is her audience.

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My Christmas wish list

I love the pattern of Kate Spade's shoes. So chic and sophisticated and bright!

Christmas is around and even though my face is hung low in shame of ‘over-spending’, nobody said nothing about not filling out a wish list did they…Santa might be out there reading my blog (not cuz it’s awesome but cuz he ‘happened’ to stumble across).

I have always loved Kate Spade. Always= since March 09 when I accidentally walked into her colorful store in NYC

If I had a million dollors I know where most of it would have gone or at least half of it. The rest I’d take to Japan and buy their awesome silk and then go to Tibet to pet the mountain goats. They’re so cute.

Though not to be worn with the other 'wish list' products, this gold cuff by Todd Reed is beautiful. I love the asymmetrical detailing.

Isn't he cute? Awwww okay that's the Tibetan mountain goat or antelope.

Okay

Everybody needs to have a Burberry trench coat. It's a must have...well sadly I don't.

husband are you even taking a note of all my ‘wish list’ products?

I neither have the bag nor am I the model

Come on somebody anybody listening or reading perhaps….

p.s- All pictures are from Google images and I have no authority over them so I WILL TAKE THEM OFF IF REQUIRED

BY SOURCE.

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Convo with the husband over high heels

Once every month (read: week) I like to stroll to the near by mall and check out clothes, shoes and what every woman loves- fashion. If for some lame reason I’m lazy that particular day then to compensate I surf the net. I love high heels. I obviously can’t walk in them and it almost like putting yourself through torture just to add 4inchs to your height. And I’m about 5ft 6inch…not bad I’d say but a far stretch from the 5ft 10inch models on the runway.A girl can dream!

On Black Friday I bought myself these awesome Guess shoes for $80 something. Originally they were $110. Some bargain huh!

I'm photography-challenged so bear with the 'pose'.

They had them in black but I liked these better.

And although I needed a size 7, I settled for size 61/2… the perils of fashion.

What does the husband have to say regarding my purchase?

husband: You’re not a model. Why do you need these?

me: I could have been had I been taller and with a few minor corrections…particularly my nose.

me: Besides Tom Cruise was shorter than Nicole Kidman…he didn’t care about his height. (I know bad example)

Husband: Yeah that’s why they’re DIVORCED.

me: Let’s keep the focus on the shoes not what an idiot Tom Cruise is.

Husband: Sigh. Women.

End of convo.

 

 

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Yeah.Right.Dummy

Sometimes I wonder how my husband can so innocently without intention buy the ugliest colors possible. Like it’s almost fascinating to me that we can go to the mall (which FYI he hates doing unless tricked into) and shop at a pretty decent store and yet he’d be at the checkout with the ugliest shade of brown or beige or some moron color that he finds ‘trendy’. And he’ll be nudging me to show how excited he is about his ‘purchase’. Yeah. Right. Dummy.

Our wardrobes are poles apart.

If you're still not getting what's so horribly wrong with them then that's cuz my camera made it look a bit nicer than they actually are.

a) He hates brand logos but somehow has excused 3 AX tee shirts (in the ugliest shades i.e.)I call them poop tee shirts.

b) I love color. I don’t like ‘bling’ on clothes but I like the combination of a neutral with a bright shade. Especially in dreary winter.

c) He won’t wear pink. Yes he’s on of ‘those’.

d) I love high heels. I’ve got a weak back so I can’t exactly strut around in them and it goes without saying my husband can’t stand the fact that it’d make me look taller! Silly is an understatement.

You see what I’m putting up with? Stacey & Clinton are you listening? Or for my friends in the UK, Trinny & Sussanah any piece of advice?

As a consolation he at least he lets me pick his clothes since he hates going shopping but his pink phobia better wear out cuz the pink shirt I bought him from J Crew is really smart. It’s not ‘girly’ like my husband so eloquently quips.It’s just that when someone is wearing poop colored stuff there’s no ‘turning on’ in the bedroom (even if he has Brad Pitt for a face). Ouch.

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…first my cooking and now my dressing? WTF!

If you know me well you’d know one thing better- to not get into an argument with me. And if the other end has my husband as my opponent then god help him.

I swear that coat looked better on me in the Macy's fitting room!

A few days back my fashion ignorant husband trespassed into what would now be known as the ‘no go zone’ (for him)- my style/fashion sense. Over the weekend we headed to Perkins for breakfast. So as I was dressing up he decided to wait until we sat in the car to unravel his impression on my choice of clothing.

husband: Um don’t you think you shouldn’t be ‘exposing’ at your age

me: (unable to comprehend what I just heard)…uh…(still in disbelief)…WTF! WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? DID YOU JUST SAY THAT?

husband: calm down but isn’t that skirt a lil too ‘short’?

me: So? I’m wearing it over black tights (you dummy). And I’m a classy dresser not a trashy one. You knew that before you married me didn’t you? (doing ‘The Rock’s’ raised eyebrow)

husband: Okaaay but you’re 23 and married..(now points to the grandma walking by in a knee length skirt)…(trying to cite her as a fashion role model)

me: (jaw drops)…(trying to curb the Hulk in me from getting outside)… OMG you’re preparing me for your mom aren’t you? I knew it you guys just suck. You know what I’m not going to say a word. Let’s just eat.

husband: I’m sorry I just thought…(stop)…pass me the pancakes

me: ‘I’ ordered the pancakes. Order yours separately since you don’t like the way I dress anyway…blah blah blah

P.S for the husband: Love you hon but don’t ever critique a woman (read: wife) on the way she dresses or the way she cooks.

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So ‘we’ spoke…

Let me define ‘ex’ so we’re clear on what I mean when I use it.

ex: former crush; former crush who I kissed and we remained each others ‘special someone’ but not boyfriend/girlfriend; the one unrequited love who’s still in your life in a very distant way

Alright so I was caught in a dilemma over being in ‘touch’ with my ex (who FYI isn’t even on the same continent). Over the weekend he called but I couldn’t really pick it cuz my husband was right there. Before you jump to any conclusion let me say that a lot of ‘ex’ talk can get your husband who prior to that was perfectly okay with that and now he just can’t stand it. Of course I take the blame entirely. As matter of fact whoever I’d spoken to about regarding this certain guy never took a liking to him. Hmmm I wonder why…And to be fair he isn’t such a bad ass either.

Anyway I called back today (husband wasn’t home) and we spoke. Basically about random lame stuff like “this friend that friend”. Then out the of the blue he mentions about some female friend of his had come over and while she was teaching my techno-illiterate ex about Facebook, she stumbled on my profile. And yes they did take the standard stalker tour of my profile and looked through my pictures.

ex: You look so pretty in those photos and you’ve gotten beautiful too.

me: Uh…um…(beautiful? What was I ugly before)…um…(fake giggle)

ex: You were always beautiful it’s just you’ve gotten prettier!

me: (YEAH RIGHT)…(fake giggle)

me: Um I thought I kept my dog as my profile pic?

ex: Obviously I wasn’t referring to your dog.

In the mean time I told me self to take the god damn compliment.

“So then why aren’t we together? Why’d you always keep me as your ‘special friend’? We had some much but you always reacted late or never fessed up about your feelings until the week before my wedding.”

No I didn’t say it out loud. It was my head talking to my heart.

Awkward.

Right so how was your weekend…(trying hard to change the topic here)…and how’s the weather?( That’s my all time fav ‘change the topic’ question).

End of convo with the ex.

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